Tis the season when many people turn to the Hallmark Channel and leave it there until New Year’s. Yep, the 59 days of Christmas started just before Halloween, and so many people that I know are tuned in to the holiday stories of the unlikely and unsuspecting person falling in love with the equally caught off guard person, and thus some Christmas wish was granted just as the snow falls, because you know there is always a White Christmas. If only these love stories happened in such a manner in real life, right?!
For those hopeless romantics who watch these movies with star gazed crossed eyes, I have a plan that will get you jump started in the dating process. Whether you are man or a woman, the suggestion that I am going to make for you helps you target exactly what you are looking for and gives you a shot at success. Do I guarantee the success of this plan? No! I cannot dictate the factors that you run into, or even what kind of effort that you will put in the process. I will say, however, that this “game plan” if you will make sense. It may even seem like common sense. But you will not believe how many people on a journey to find love just do not remember the simple stuff.
But before I give you this map to possible dating success, I cannot take the credit for the idea. The idea actually comes from the man himself, SANTA CLAUS!
Ok, not Santa Claus per se, but there was someone that wrote a song about him called “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” According to Wikipedia, this song was written by J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie and is known to be originally performed by a banjoist around 1934. The song was instantly and wildly popular as the sheet music for the song flew off the shelves to the tune of half a million sales in just 24 hours. That in this day is what we would call “going viral!” Now there are many versions of this song around the world, but my personal favorite is by the Jackson 5! It’s something about the young, innocent and sincere voice of little Michael Jackson singing the lead that puts me in the holiday spirit.
But I digress…
I bet you though that this song was about how Santa Claus operates and tells the message to little boys and girls to make sure that they are checking all the boxes to ensure that they are a stop on Santa’s magical 24 hour sleigh ride around the world. Well it was, indeed. But for the sake of this conversation, let’s say that that it was about dating. YES, dating! Hear me out on this one.
Let’s take one of the historic verses of the song and break it down. You know that part of the song that says:
“You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.”
The Crucial Evolution dating game interpretation of this verse says this:
“Keep your eyes open and don’t get discouraged, don’t shed a tear in sadness or despair, and don’t have a long look on your face. You know why? Because the love of your life will eventually be here!
Pretty cool, huh!
Still not convinced? Well, here is where your map to dating success. Here’s the next verse:
“He's making a list And checking it twice; Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice Santa Claus is coming to town.”
This is the big part of the song. It's a plan to dating! Here is the plan, as translated by me:
1. Make a list of all the qualities that you are looking for in a mate. Let your mind go. There is no wrong response here. This is throwing spaghetti against the wall and seeing what sticks. You are making the list. Unless you are going to judge yourself, which you may and it’s your prerogative, don’t worry about it!
2. Now start thinking about what is reasonable for you. What are the things that you absolutely need out of this list that are not luxuries that add the shine, bells, and whistles to what the relationship would look like? Instead, what are the things on this list that will make you feel like the person that you deserve to feel like. A quick word of caution; you may not be able to do this right away. There may be some soul searching and self-discovery that is involved in this process, and that’s okay. This is a process that you want to make sure that you are real with yourself about. YOU WILL NOT BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANYTHING UNLESS YOU ARE REAL WITH YOURSELF!
3. So now that you have made a list and narrowed it down. Take it for a spin. Go out, be open to meeting someone new. (Sidenote: As I am writing this blog, we are in the middle of a pandemic that is spiraling out of control. As of December 2020, I do not recommend going out to new places around people that are not in your immediate bubble and meet someone new.) This may be a time to get creative. Here in this blogosphere, I am not opposed to dropping into DM, online dating, or asking friends for hook ups or introductions. This person can be anywhere. There is certainly a novelty in taking a chance. A CALCULATED AND CAREFUL CHANCE! This is not an open recommendation to throw caution to the wind and jump in headfirst. Be smart! Give the person a fair chance, but do not forget to be on the look out for red flags.
Let’s land this plane! Take a look at the last verse…
“He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake!”
Translation in this realm of conversation: Don’t think that people can’t see who you are. Don’t assume that you will be about to hide the true you for too long. The more that people are being in tuned with themselves in the mate finding process, the more intuitive people are becoming as to whether they are getting a guarded you, one that is not taking the process seriously, or a person that really wants something out of this experience. This of course cannot be an absolute statement because not everyone is on the same level playing field when it comes to the dating process, and where they are rushing or trying to check off a box. That part, for someone that is paying attention or on a honest mission, however, is fully apparent. So be true and honest to the process, and the process will be true and honest to you.
One final note: This likely will not work the first time through. In fact, the chances are very slim. Not impossible, but slim, nonetheless. That’s why its importance to pack your patience and resilience and repeat the process if necessary, or as many times as you like, as often as you are comfortable with.
Crucial Evolution Coaching Services, LLC would like to wish you all the best wishes to you and yours in this holiday season!