The Perfectly Imperfect Relationship: What Seems Impossible is More Obtainable than you may Realize!
Are you looking for the perfect partner? Are you thinking about how to make your relationship the perfect one, similar to those that you see in movies? Do you see your friend’s perfect relationship and wonder how it happened and how you can get that magic in your life? The first step in making this happen is to know that it will not happen, at least not in the way that you think it will. Don’t hold out for perfect relationships because you’ll only be disappointed. So many people sabotage their chances at love because they place their loved one and/or their relationship on a pedestal.
Let’s take a look at the definition of the word “perfect.” Dictionary.com defines perfect as conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type.” The fact of the matter is, you may already be in your “perfect” relationship. So how can this apply to you? Until you change your definition of what perfect is, you are doomed to failure again and again at achieving the “perfect relationship.” You will also cause yourself and anyone you enter into a relationship with, a lot of pain by not being able to adapt to the perfection that person can bring into your life.
Which leads me to the second step in having a perfect relationship. In order to have a “perfect” relationship, one has to firmly know that no one is perfect, but someone can be perfect for you. There is a difference. The sooner you can make that distinction the sooner you’ll have a real shot at having a great, loving relationship. Someone being perfect for you takes the personal adaptation and compromise to be able to accept that person’s flaws and “imperfections”, and being able to accept them as a part of the package of the person that you love. A disclaimer is needed here…IN NO WAY AM I SAYING TO ACCEPT HARMFUL OR DETRIMENTAL BEHAVIOR! The purpose of writing this is to give an idea of the perception of what can happen when someone can accept the concept that all relationships have their ups, downs, and petty nuisances that drive us crazy as romantic partners.
In this realm of getting familiar with the “perfect” relationship, it is important to understand how one can conceive a concept that is consistent with the appropriate relationship for them. To get a better idea of what someone who is perfect for you would like, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most commonly desired traits in a partner. Of course, your ideas could be different but these traits are fairly common and they provide a good place to start in examining what you consider perfect.
1. Understanding: Have you ever felt an inexplicable connection to people who “dig your vibe?” People are comfortable with someone who ‘gets’ them. If you sing in the shower, like weird food combination’s, or just like to act goofy sometimes, you’ll want a partner who can play along with you. Having an understanding partner goes a long way in a valuable and “perfect” relationship.
We all have our things that separate us from others, either those things that a make us tick or those things that most people just will not get. Everyone has their own little quirks and your perfect partner will, at the minimum, accept those quirks without making fun of you and at best will have the same or similar quirks. You won’t want someone who will roll their eyes or ridicule you whenever you do these things. They should love you, and accept you, just as you are.
2. Good self esteem: How confident is your partner in everyday life? One of the biggest problems in relationships is when one party is insecure. This insecurity is often hidden and it can come across as many other things. Very often someone who is overly sexual or overly aggressive is actually just trying to compensate for and cover up a very strong sense of insecurity. In fact, a partner with good self esteem will radiate positivity onto their partner. There is nothing better than knowing you can depend on your partner to pick you up on those occasions when you feel down. We all have them!
It is very beneficial for you to be observant of the intangibles like good self-esteem. As you get to know someone keeps a close eye out for their actions, this will tell you a lot. For example, how do they react when something embarrassing happens? Do they get angry, defensive? Do they lash out at you? This should be a huge, huge, red flag! Or do they laugh and shrug and go along with it good-naturedly. If they do the latter it probably means that they are a secure confidant person, and that is a trait you want to look for in a partner.
3. Outlook: Do both of your share a similar perspective in the world around you? You don’t have to agree on everything. It is possible for some relationships can thrive even if both parties are very different in many of their views; though it will only work if both parties are mature and secure and don’t feel threatened that the other one doesn’t agree with them on various issues. Another key to having a perfect relationship is how the views or each partner, whether it be similar or different, can co-exist in a harmonious environment where one partner is not hell-bent on changing the other’s mind.
The more shared views that you and your partner have, the better! For the most part, though, it will work better if you and your potential partner have a common ground on the main issues, your core beliefs. If you value honesty and fidelity, for example, you won’t be happy with someone who lies and cheats.
4. Gut Instincts: Although the previous three things are very valuable things to look for in a partner, it is arguable that the most important piece of the perfect relationship is your very own gut instinct! You know that voice in our head that tells us if something is good (or bad) for us? That feeling that we usually ignore because it does not make logical sense in our brain or emotional sense in our heart? Learning to trust your instincts when it comes down to selecting your mate can be a game changer in your happiness.
More so, continuously using your gut instincts in interactions with your partner are also important. Using your instincts within a relationship can take your emotional bond with your partner can single-handedly separate your perfect relationship from any idea of a great relationship that you may have had by leaps and bounds. Just imagine a world where part of the work in your relationship is done for you by sharing a instinctual bond with your partner. This is definitely something that cannot be taught. This makes instinct an invaluable tool that if continually subscribed to, will be clutch to prolonged happiness in your relationship.
All in all, if you are willing to accept your partner’s flaws and imperfections, and see the things that your partner, or potential partner, has to offer that will propel you to a happy relationship, you too, can have a perfect relationship! Believe it or not, it’s pretty easy to find perfect relationships, or at least perfect for you. The problem is that people see what they want to see and not what is there. I know it can be hard, especially in the beginning, but it’s important for the long-term health and happiness of the relationship that you take off the blinders and see your partner as they are, not as you want them to be.